javamonkey insights into the world of caffeinated monkeys

Wednesday, June 06, 2007   The Carrot Is 22 Days Away Vacation is only 22 days away. I'm counting down, and I'm not the type of person who counts down to things. I'm tired of the now, and thank goodness I have a trip to look forward to--it's helping keep my mind off of other things. I'm in that post-break up funk, the one where I know that everything will be alright and will work out, but where I'm not quite ready to face the dating scene yet. I'm just waiting for time to work it's magic, but dammit, it's not fast enough. I'm not a patient person. I want to be out of the funk. I know that I can't go back with Ian--things were irrevocably over when he lied to me, but I'm not quite over him. I loved him, and I can't turn off the feeling (although the anger helped). Lately, there's been nothing to distract me from me--work isn't enough, working out isn't enough, driving around isn't enough. I need physical distance from the area--new scenery, friends, new adventures (if I get eaten by a bear in Yellowstone, it wouldn't be entirely unexpected). I also feel like I'll be at a crossroads when vacation ends--I was ready to move to Miami, ready to leave the area. That feeling didn't end when Ian and I did. I'm not sure if there's anything left in this area for me--my boss has shuffled my position at work yet again (meet the new accountant--our current accountant will be out for an extended medical leave), and has said that he wants me in the store manager position when he opens a store in H-town. Ah, the carrot that they've dangled since I've started--promotion. I have a ton of job experience, but I don't make nearly enough money for everything that I do. I don't know if I believe the promise anymore, as it's not come through yet. I keep thinking it's time to just leave the area, and I'm looking. I guess I just want a clear sign of what I should do--I don't need a burning bush, but I need something. (I want a burning bush, because that would be kickass, but I really don't need one. I can't be trusted with fire. Ask Jason.) posted by jaime | 7:20 PM 1 comments

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