insights into the world of caffeinated monkeys
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| javamonkey insights into the world of caffeinated monkeys |
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Thursday, May 10, 2007 Other Fish In The Sea It's official--Ian and I are no longer a couple. We broke up tonight. Everything was fine, so I thought (we had a conversation concerning signing a year long lease, but we worked through that quickly), until Monday night. Monday we had talked about booking a trip to Miami to tour apartments and explore the neighborhood; we had the flights and hotels picked out and we just needed to book. Ian said that he'd call if there were any changes in plans. I did get a call from him around 11:30 pm; he said that he was here and asked "do you still want to get together and hang out?" I told him I didn't know where he was or what he was talking about; he hung up. I got a text message immediately afterward that said "I'm busted; I'm sorry. We'll talk tomorrow." What's the obvious conclusion? You guessed it, and that's the one I jumped to. I tried calling him but he had turned his phone off. Needless to say, Monday was a BAD night. I spoke with Ian on Tuesday--he hadn't slept with anyone else, but his rendezvous was with a female friend. I didn't think I had the full story, and it turned out that the female friend was a date. He had doubts about us for several months, and didn't think that things would work out. A big part of the doubts stemmed from me being his first real relationship--he wanted to see what else was out there. Rather than tell me this, he started looking. I spent the rest of Tuesday and Wednesday in tears; Wednesday, I was ambushed by my coworkers for updates because they knew something was wrong. I told them what was happening, and as upset as they are at the situation, they are all thrilled that I'm not moving to Miami. I'm glad I spoke with everyone; I'm glad that I still have a job and don't have to worry about that. I did turn in my notice and they did hire my replacements, so it would stand to reason that they could hold me to my resignation. Thankfully, they are not. In speaking with coworkers and friends, in thinking about things and writing through this, I know that I deserve better. Ian has broken my trust and deceived me; there is no second chance with that. I deserve to be with someone who can appreciate all that I have to offer, and who can look at me and know that he's lucky to be with me. It's just hard to work through it all--I really care about Ian and I wanted to make it work. I thought everything was fine until Monday night. He's been thinking about this for months and has decided it's over; I've had a few days to reach the same conclusion. Ultimately, it's for the best--if he didn't have enough respect for me to tell me about his doubts before he started dating, that's an obvious sign that he's not the one for me. I deserve to be treated better than that. So, unfortunately, those who made Miami vacation plans will need to change them, as I won't be in Miami. I don't know if now is the right time to make a move or if I should change jobs; I'm still thinking about that. I'm shocked that it's over, and it was so hard to walk away. I know I did the right thing, but it's hard. He's going to be hard to get over. If anyone is in the area on Saturday night, give me a call. My brother is taking me out on the town as a "Welcome Back to Single Status." I think he thinks it's a great pick up line; he says that he wants to see if I can get more phone numbers than he can. Regardless, it'll be a nice change of pace--I've spent so many Saturday nights with Ian, I forget how to go out. I'd appreciate any company that wants to come along. posted by jaime | 9:56 PM 0 comments |
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