javamonkey insights into the world of caffeinated monkeys

Monday, January 15, 2007   Shindig In My Sinuses (Alternate Title: Why I Love Meth) After spending all of Saturday night and Sunday in a Dimetapp-induced coma (mmmm, purple medicine), I woke up this morning still feeling like crap and thought it a good idea to see the doctor. Now, most of you know that I have a strong dislike of doctors. They poke, they prod, they jab, they inject, they take blood, and have generally thought up the best ways to make you even more miserable when you are sick. However, they hold the key to the good drugs. Since I was still in a state of Dimetapp-induced sleepy stupor (and wowed by the variety of colors of mucus that I was producing), I thought it best to see the doctor. I had my appointment this morning at 10am. (Woohoo to them getting me in. Today. This morning. Within an hour and a half of me calling. They rock.) I went in, saw the doctor, have a sinus infection, and was given antibiotics. I then asked about a decongestant, as I hadn't been able to breathe through my nose and my efforts to unclog have chapped and chaffed my nose. My doctor told me to take Sudafed. Regular old Sudafed. Not the new stuff, as that might react with my antibiotic (he didn't mention that the two side effects of my antibiotic are explosive diarrehea and a metallic taste--I'm afraid to fart and I feel like I've been sucking on nickels all day long).* Anyway, back to the Sudafed. I can't believe he said Sudafed. Of all of the freakin' drugs that I could get over the counter, the one he recommends is the one that's nearly impossible to get. Well, you can get it, if you jump through the flaming hoops and walk the hot coals and sign away your name and social security number and whatnot to the bureacracy created specifically for the task of keeping you away from the Sudafed. Because you may use the Sudafed to create crystal meth. First, I'm not going to take the damn Sudafed and make crystal meth. Thank you, government, for assuming the worst of your citizens. (However, with the crappy insurance that I have, I may consider that as an option to pay for medical bills.) Second, how does making someone sign a log-book prevent them from making crystal meth? It doesn't. It just shows a disproportionate number of Herman Muddfuddles and Justine Cofags buying Sudafed. It doesn't stop the drug makers from buying their allotment of Sudafed from your store and then heading next door to get more and heading across the street to get more and so on. It's just one more hurdle standing in the way of sinus relief for me. Finally, yes, it irritates me to have to ask a pharmacist for something labeled as OTC, and it irritates me more to sign for it. But what really pisses me off is the fact that Sudafed doesn't really work for me. Since it's the only thing I can take, I'd like to buy as much of it as I can. Because if taking it doesn't clear out my sinuses, mixing it with brake fluid and heating it might produce enough fumes to actually clear my head and allow me to breathe. I'd like to think that it would. Something has to work. I'm miserable.** *Actually, this is kind of funny too. My knee has been bothering me--making popping noises when I straighten it and sometimes hurting when I straighten it. I forgot about it until today. I went to get up from the chair in the doctor's office (I don't sit on the butcher-paper lined bed) and my knee popped. My doctor heard it and gave me a weird look. And I replied, straight-faced "Hell, while I'm here, can you check out my knee? Sometimes it makes loud popping noises and hurts when I straighten it." So I have an MRI on Thursday for my knee. **I'm no longer miserable as of this posting. I really wish I didn't have this metallic taste thing happening, but I can breathe through my nose, which is exciting. It means I can do things like swallow food and sleep comfortably and I have a sense of smell. Although with the side effects of the antibiotic, I may regret having a sense of smell. posted by jaime | 6:19 PM 0 comments

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