insights into the world of caffeinated monkeys
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| javamonkey insights into the world of caffeinated monkeys |
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Sunday, August 20, 2006 I Win At Evil I hurt my foot--broke my ankle. It was in a cast, and the doctors told me that I had to keep it elevated. Ian decided to buy a chair for me to use to prop up my foot; he bought a used formal dining chair with an upholstered seat. He loved the chair--he was so proud of his purchase. It was a beautiful chair--ornate carvings on the back and legs, dark finish, and a gorgeous jewel-tone brocade fabric. However, every time I propped my foot up on the chair, bad things happened. Thunderstorms, dishes flying out of the cabinents with such force that they shattered, loud noises, pictures falling off walls, etc. It only happened to me, and I wanted to return the chair. Ian refused. I decided to do some investigating, and I found that the chair was actually stolen from a haunted house. Things kept getting stranger when I was near the chair, so I decided to return the chair. I loaded up the chair into my wagon and took off toward the haunted house. When I got there, the door was opened by a creepy little blonde girl, about 6 years old. She was very quiet--didn't want to tell me if the chair belonged there, and kept running when I asked to speak to her parents. She would run away every time I would ask to speak to someone else, but always came creeping back to the front door to see if I was still there. I finally decided to bring the chair into the house after the little brat ran off again; when I walked into the house, it was just a long hallway with lots of closed doors to the side, and a staircase with another long hall with closed doors. There was no place to put the chair, as the hallway was as wide as the chair; if I sat it down, I would block the hallway. I started trying door handles to see if there was a room where I could set the chair; I wanted to leave. Nothing was open downstairs, so I ventured upstairs; that's when the house got angry. The walls started to shake, the stairs tried to throw me down, and the house was screaming at me to leave. I screamed back at the house--I wasn't leaving unless it took the damn chair back. I made it up the stairs and finally found an unlocked door. Behind the door was a morbidly obese woman, sitting on a broken rocking chair, crying. When she saw me, her eyes lit up. She said that I could return the chair, but I had to stay with it. Someone had to stay with the house, and she wasn't going to let it be her little girl. Someone had to replace her as the evil spirit of the house; she was not going to let it be her precious daughter. I was not going to stay and become the evil of the house; I had to think fast and out-evil this woman. I told the woman that I wanted to see her daughter and her together--I wanted to see who I was setting free by taking over the house. She called for her daughter, who appeared behind me. When her daughter appeared, I grabbed her, put her on the chair, and held her there. If the woman wanted her daughter, she would have to come get her. She was furious; she turned red and started to smoke. She started to melt as the little girl sank into the chair and was absorbed by the chair. I had out-eviled the evil, and the little girl was rightfully absorbed by the house to become the evil. I left the chair and the house. posted by jaime | 10:39 PM 0 comments |
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