javamonkey insights into the world of caffeinated monkeys

Sunday, January 09, 2005   Nothing A Few Marguaritas Won't Cure If anyone wants to meet for dinner today (to celebrate the fact that I'm now in the 25-34 year old demographic), Fridays in H-town at 7ish pm. Thanks Aud, for inviting me out. I fully expect you to cut me off if I can no longer zip my pants without supervision. I'm feeling a lot better about things, actually. I drove down to Garrett's apartment Thursday night to drop off stuff. I took back the books that he gave me for Christmas, a scarf, the necklace that his mother gave me, and some other odds and ends stuff (minus the DVD player--I couldn't take that without arousing the folks' suspicion that something was up and I wasn't ready to tell them yet). He wasn't home, but all of the lights were on and I wanted to talk to him for a bit, face to face...get some closure on the situation. I put all of the stuff in the apartment. I cut up some fresh fruits and veggies for the guinea pigs so they would have some food for a few days. I took out the garbage. I cried a bit, and went outside to sit on the porch in the cold to clear my head. While I was outside, I saw Garrett drive past the apartment, saw him slow down...he saw my car and he kept on driving. I couldn't get ahold of him on his cell phone, and I gathered my things and left. I cannot believe that he is so cowardly as to drive past his own apartment to avoid talking to me post-breakup. And as I was packing up my car, I realized that he wasn't worth it. He's not worth the feeling like shit and the not eating and the physical sickness. Anyone that is that much of a coward isn't worth my time. Anyone that says that I'm incapable of a relationship and not a complete person because I'm not close to my family isn't worth my tears. So I've stopped crying. I'm feeling much better. He hurt me with what he said, he shocked me with his timing, and he made me cry. But if he's that much of a pansy-ass to just run rather than hear my side of things, he's not worth it. No one that's worth being part of my life ever made me feel that shitty. And it's stupid of me to waste any more tears on him. posted by jaime | 12:04 AM 0 comments

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