insights into the world of caffeinated monkeys
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| javamonkey insights into the world of caffeinated monkeys |
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Thursday, October 23, 2003 If You Don't Expect Too Much, You Might Not Be Let Down The exception to that is if you're me. Because if you're Jaime, even if you expect nothing, you'll always be let down. I'm fairly sure that I am karma's favorite person to practice her bitch slapping skills on. Yesterday, things were okay. I thought. Joe messaged me and said that his plans for the night were cancelled and instead of meeting after work late tomorrow night if we could meet that evening and go to a barbeque at his cousin's house. That was fine, so I did laundry and cleaned the apartment and did all of the stuff I needed to do and headed out. We met up, had a great time with his cousin and his cousin's fiance, and we all watched a movie together. We were all cuddly during the movie, and that was fun. We leave to go back to his house so I can get my car and drive home, and he says that he has to talk. He then proceeds to tell me that in talking to me and meeting me, he realizes that he's not ready to be dating. At all. I was the catalyst for this thought process. Okay....but there's more. Being with me, snuggling, even holding my hand is just too much for him. Then he asks me what I'm thinking...well, I don't know...a lot of things. Like you could have told me this earlier, I wasted all of this gas driving here, at least I didn't fuck you, why am I always the person that makes guys think like this, what is wrong with me? And I'm sitting there trying not to cry in front of him, because I can't let him see how damn upset I am. So instead, I run into the bathroom and vomit. And then I leave. I get in the car, pull away, and start crying while I'm driving home. That's not all...on my way home, I get pulled over by a State Trooper. For having a tag light out. I didn't even know what a tag light is, but apparently, mine is out. And the State Trooper is standing there, with the spotlight thingie glaring in my eyes, and starts asking me if he's pulled me over in the last week, because he swears he did. I've never been pulled over before that moment, ever. But this trooper was insistant that I looked familiar. Turns out, he's a client at the vet's office. So, at least I didn't get a ticket or a warning or anything. But I did get the 3rd degree as why I was driving at 3 am in the area, and I told him that I was getting dumped (well, I don't think it was quite getting dumped, seeing as Joe and I had 2 dates...more like he was telling me that I'm why he's not ready to date...but I was trying to keep things simple). He looked at me and smiled and shrugged and says "There's other fish in the sea? I don't know. Does that make you feel better? That's all the relationship advice I have. I hope that makes you feel better." So...by this point, I'm tired, sad, tears all over my face, and a state trooper is giving me relationship advice. And I get home, and my roommate tries to talk to me, and tell me that I shouldn't expect too much from these things. I didn't expect anything from this. I'm not looking for a husband. I'm looking for someone to spend time with, to snuggle with, to date. But that's too much for me to ask for. Maybe I should just say fuck it, and become a lesbian or something. Or just sell out completely...be a corporate whore, be a whore, work 9-5 every day, do it for the money, and just fuck for fucks sake, because if I'm not going to get what I want, I might as well get laid. I'm glad that Homecoming is this weekend...I really just need to surround myself with good friends, go for a long walk in the woods, and probably eat an entire bag of plain M&Ms. Because chocolate is good. An addendum: Just when you think life can't get worse, you find cat puke in your clean laundry. Yeah, I'm getting fucking plastered right now. Why not? Alcohol is good. posted by jaime | 9:50 AM 0 comments |
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