javamonkey insights into the world of caffeinated monkeys

Sunday, August 24, 2003   "I Have Not The Words To Write A Farewell To You Tonight" quote from Collective Soul "I Grieve" Lyrics Tomorrow marks a year after the passing of Andy Magaro. It hasn't gotten easier to deal with him being gone; it's the opposite. Each day that he's been gone is another day that I realize I miss him, that he's no longer with us. Each time I check my email the notice from Ned sits there in my box as a reminder. He's still first on my list of contacts in my email address book. I haven't deleted it. I haven't deleted him off of my AIM list. I think to do those things would be accepting that he's gone completely from my life, even though he's never gone from my memories. I miss his laugh. I miss how it just filled every corner of the room and when he laughed, you just couldn't help but to laugh along with him. Seeing him always put a smile on my face. I keep thinking of all of the crazy things we did. Playing hide and seek behind the little skinny trees on North lawn at Juniata. Lapdancing at parties. The adventures of Andy and Zeebo. Driving his car to the distributor to get beer for him. Sheetz runs. His first night at the bar when he turned 21. Whipping Christa at Thanksgiving. He could never be my woman. I have so many great memories of him, and I will never get the opportunity to make more memories with him. I always took for granted that he'd be there. I guess you only learn how special people are to you when they aren't there anymore. I know that sometime I'm not the best friend--I don't call, I'm late for things, sometimes I forget about plans, I don't write. But if I never tell you directly how much as a friend you truly mean to me, don't think that I don't mean it. Sometimes there just aren't any words to describe how much I care because I can't comprehend how deeply I care about my friends and love my friends. I'm glad I had the chance to meet Andy and be his friend. posted by jaime | 9:25 PM 0 comments

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